(Warning… The following blog will offend the sensitive type. Those of you that can’t accept the truth and who’s feelings are easily hurt, please run and hide in your safe place.)
Several months ago, the wife and I decided to broaden our horizons and go to a murder mystery/comedy, dinner theater. It was a pleasant and fun evening that Judy and I both enjoyed.
The dress was casual as well as the atmosphere and I’m at ease in that type of setting, whereas formal deals makes me tense and nervous.
We were seated with two other couples and the repartee between the six of us was pleasant and enjoyable.
I started to glance around the room at the other patrons and I noticed two things upset me. The lack of respect shown to the hostess and players of the comedy troupe and the male patrons wearing their, mostly dirty, ball caps. These two things I was brought up to never do in a public dinner surrounding.
That got me thinking about just how little respect is shown to others today out of selfish pride, laziness, or plain ignorance. So, in no particular order here they are.
• Take your damn hat off in a restaurant! I’m not talking about the bar/restaurant or the greasy spoon type joint. But in a sit-down style where there is a host or hostess, take your hat off!
• Put your cell phone away. Unless you are a first responder or medical personal on call. It’s just rude as hell to be texting or yakking on the damn phone to no one about nothing, while people are trying to take your order or to entertain you. And the person dinning beside you, doesn’t want to hear your conversation.
• Just because you’re the customer, doesn’t mean the person taking your order, or the person behind the fast food counter, or super market cash register doesn’t deserve your respect or manners. (Please, Thank you, Yes Ma’am/Sir, No Ma’am/Sir.) You are no better than those whose job it is to serve you.
Thinking about my statements, I’m reminded of the recent wave of political correctness forced upon us for acceptance. Something I call the “Hollywood Apology”. A meaningless bit of lip service ignored by most thinking people.
The “Hollywood Apology” comes from someone who says something “offensive” to, or about, someone or something who is “sensitive” or spoken about someone or something many years prior, when the subject wasn’t sensitive but now is.
Come on people!! Grow up. Buck up. And get on with your lives for crying-out-loud.
Recently, an acquaintance shared a true story with several of us. He was escorting a niece to a track and field event and before the events they were walking around the field as my acquaintance spoke words of encouragement to his niece.
They came to a spot near the track where there, on the ground, was a blanket and several Teddy Bears. Thinking they were from a family with a couple of small children the niece was quick to point out that the blanket and bears were there for support and comfort to the athletes should they need them in case of an event loss or encouragement should a contestant be too frightened or nervous before their event.
Really!? Have we sunk this low? To the point of being unable to handle the unknown and set-backs and failure? Are we so sensitive that we cannot handle criticism? Constructive or otherwise? Achievement only comes through loss at some point. Learning is through failure and trial.
Please don’t try to tell me I don’t know what it’s like to be ridiculed, mocked, made fun of, or to be shamed. I do.
Growing up I was a ninety-eight-pound weakling who didn’t even make the ninety-eight-pound requirement. I was teased and tormented. I was shoved around and even took a beating or two. Until one day I had had enough.
One of the alpha males had stopped me in the school hallway for a bit of fun at my expense. During the brief exchange of unpleasantries, he had dropped a quarter on the floor. As it began to roll away, I stepped on it to stop its escape. The alpha saw this as a claim to his territory and shoved me hard into the wall. I hit my head on the wall and something snapped. Something that had been building up inside me for years.
I connected with a right as hard as I could muster and, temporarily, rearranged his jaw line and added some color to it also. Stunned by the fact that a scrawny little kid stood up to him, he responded with a right to the side of my eye. There we stood. Looking at each other. Waiting for each to make the next move. Neither one of us did. Being it was in the middle of class time, there were no witnesses to the title fight and all authorities were dutifully teaching their respective classes. We simply picked up our books and returned to class. I had just earned respect. I was seldom picked on after that and if I was, it was the good-natured kind.
I remember coming home with my red badge of courage around my eye and Dad giving me the once over at the supper table. He looked at my red and slightly swollen eye and the only thing he said was… “What’s the other guy look like?” I shrugged my shoulders and continued with my meal. The matter was closed.
Now, before you all get upset and overwrought at the thought that I may be extolling the virtues of violence, rest assured that I am not. I tell you this story to show that no matter how much I was the target of torment, I did not run for a “safe spot” with a blanket and Teddy Bear, and a cup of coco for comfort in the face of adversity. To have done so would have been an encouragement to the alpha and all other alphas.
Think of it this way, PLEASE! If someone calls you an offensive name or says anything to you in a derogatory way just ignore them. Have enough respect for yourself to know who you are and be able to move on without an apology. Because an apology from the offender would probably be a meaningless verbal gesture anyway.
Really, when someone calls out a derogatory to you, just who has the problem? You? Or the offender?
Hold your head up! Respect others. Respect yourself. Teach respect.
Long Lonesome Highway 